Sarcastic sayings

- Sarcastic quotes -

 

Looking for a bit of sarcasm?

Sarcastic sayings/sarcastic quotes can be deliciously wicked and even slightly evil. Don’t you sometimes feel that you would just love to smite someone down with a few well-delivered caustic phrases?

I’ve compiled a list of my favorite sarcastic sayings to help you to vent your frustrations (even if it is only in your imagination!)

Be warned that you list of enemies will grow substantially if you give in to the urge to use my list of sarcastic sayings …

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- Sarcastic sayings -

 

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

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I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

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Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

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If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.

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Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?

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I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

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I’m not sure what’s wrong… but it’s probably your fault.

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Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much.
You’re not that good.

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Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.

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Good ideas aren’t as common as stupid people think.

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I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.

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I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’ll be hard to pronounce.

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

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I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.

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Those who laugh last thinks slowest.

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Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

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The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.

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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

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If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

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I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

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The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It is twice as large as it needs to be.

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Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

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Don’t let your mind wander, It’s too little to be let out alone.

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I think , therefore we have nothing in common.

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I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.

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I’m busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

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You were meant for me… perhaps as a punishment

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You go girl! And don’t come back.

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Sure I’ll help you out……the same way you came in.

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“It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat. ”

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

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“The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually becomes a cat.”

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Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone…
I realized I can do so much without you.

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Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

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Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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He is YOUR god, they are YOUR rules, YOU burn in hell.

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You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!

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I am currently occupied, give me a couple minutes to get frustrated and then I’ll get back to you.

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You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.

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If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.

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Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it

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I hope you’ve enjoyed my collection of sarcastic sayings,

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To see the rest of my quotes collection, go to:

Cute love sayings
Love and friendship quotes
I love you sayings
Funny love sayings
Sad love sayings
Finding love quotes (new love)
Short love sayings
Quotes of love
Best life quotes
Lost love sayings
Bitchy quotes
Quotes that inspire
Thinking of you quotes
Thank you quotes
Engagement quotes
Get well sayings
Funny birthday sayings quotes
Quotes about beauty
Anniversary sayings
Bitter quotations
Quotations birthday
Anger quotations
Famous quotations about life
Famous motivational quotations