Wife wants divorce

by John

We had our first baby 3 weeks ago and she has been ignoring me and stopped telling me she loves me since yesterday. She told me last night that she is unhappy with her life and that she wanted a divorce. She says she loves me and our baby but her life is "not her". I love my wife and daughter more than anything in the world. I’m a very supportive kind of person and have been helping her a lot with the baby. How do I deal with this? I don’t want to lose my family …


My answer:

Taking care of a newborn (considering the amount of work, time and responsibly it involves) can be very overwhelming for a first time mom. She is probably overtired and overwhelmed by all the changes in her life and then has to deal with hormones that may still be out of balance.

She has to shift her mindset from being free to do as she wants to being responsible for a tiny baby on a full time basis. This can be hard to deal with. She is also possibly on a subconscious level holding you responsible for the changes and wants out.

This is all very normal. Be very patient with her and help her as much as you can to make things easier for her. Take her back to her doctor to make sure that she is not suffering from postpartum depression.

It would also be helpful if she has another young mothers to talk to and swap experiences with. An older mother figure to advice her and show her the ropes will also smooth this adjustment period for her. Hang in there. She needs you now more than ever.

Love her, support her and be the "hero" for her. It will get better in time.