Why stay in a abusive relationship?

by Mercia

I don't understand why some people stay in abusive relationships. I don't get it.

If someone treats me badly I would be out of there very quickly. If the relationship no longer works and you don't love each other any more, why not just leave?

It seem illogical to me to stay with someone that hits you.

Btw I'm 16



My answer:

A love relationship is never simple, but rather full of twists and turns and ups and downs. An abusive relationship is not only bad. After abuse happened there is a period of deep regret, apologizing and huge efforts to repair the damage. During that time, the victim is treated very well and she tends to think that she is in the best relationship ever.

He usually convinces her that he wouldn't lose control if only she doesn't make him so angry or distract him or whatever. She then becomes convinced that it is her fault. She thinks the problem is her and not him and she tries harder to please him or not to rock the boat.

Another factor that forces her to stay is financial. Most women are dependent on their partner, cut off from family and friends and have no support system. If she walks out she will have nowhere to go and no money. If there are children involved it is even more difficult to leave.

Some will stay because they fear for their life and the life of their children. These women are threatened into immobility. An abused women is low on self-esteem, feels helpless and embarrassed and don't know where to turn.

It is very complicated and it is therefore very important to leave at the first sign of trouble. If you stay, you become caught in a web that is very difficult to escape from.