TRUST

I have been dating a lady for 8 years now. For me the big problem is she does not trust me. Not that type of trust for cheating but that I will stay with her.

I have left her 3 times in the past because my children and her children do not get along or like each other. But I have come to no longer trust her 26 year old child. She is a lier, thief, uses drugs, stays in bed until 5 pm and runs around all night. She does live on her own but does not have money for food. So she comes by us and takes food of what else she needs(including money).

My girlfriend says that it is still her child and she will take care of her. I work hard and long for our money and I do not believe in giving the child money for nothing. If I would only see that she was trying to make something of her life it would be different.If have broken up a few times before and this time she said it is for good.

We still have contact and we still love each other, but the barriers are still there and it looks like this time is for good. My girlfriend and myself both sit in money problems but in 5 months I am out of trouble and we would have a good income to live on. But she does not trust me.


My answer:

Think about it like this: When you love and care for someone, you stand by them through good and bad times. She loves her daughter and will stand by her no matter what because she loves her. She doesn't expect anything in return, she is there for her and helps her no matter what.

You love her but you don't stand by her, but leave her when things became difficult or complicated. That is the reason she doesn't trust you - you don't stand by her in bad times, just in good times.

You can't change the daughter, the only thing you can do is support the mother. Don't interfere or tell her what to do. Just support and love her and never leave when things become difficult. You are in a relationship with the mother, not the daughter, so focus your energy, love and support on your girlfriend.