Texting jokes

Free funny text messages

Funniest text messages

Bring a smile into someone’s day with my selection of texting jokes. Pick a funny text sms message from my free text message jokes-list.

I’m in the process of compiling a long list of fun text messages.

The list below is only the start of this list and I would appreciate it very much (if you have a few texting jokes up your sleeve) if you would share your funniest text messages with me. I will add them to the list below and credit you by putting your name with it.

How? Easy … Just go to this page and fill in the very short form, add your texting jokes and watch this space!

List of Texting jokes:

Why do they call it PMS?
Mad cow disease was already taken!

Why can't men get Mad Cow's Disease?
Because they are pigs.

Why did the jelly baby go 2 school?
Bcoz it wanted 2 be a smarty.

For sale: complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. Good condition. $1000. No longer needed, got married, my wife knows everything!

What do u call a vicar on a mo2r bike?

I had a ploughman's lunch today. He wasn't v happy.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

What do U call a handcuffed man?

What do U get if U cross a skunk with a boomerang?
A bad smell U can’t get rid of.

Hw do u keep a txtr in suspense?
I'll tel U l8r.

Text the romance back

There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And of course: a donkey to pay her bills!!

I wanted to send you something that would make you smile... But the postman told me to get out of the mailbox.

What's the difference between Bigfoot and intelligent men? Big foot has been spotted a few times.

One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

"Inside this fat body lies lives a skinny lady. But I can usually shut her up with chocolate."

You think I'm nice, I think you're nice. You think I'm kind, I think you're kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I'm cute, and I think you're right.

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don't know. Never happens.

Get Your Ex Back

What does irreconcilable differences mean?
When she's melting down her wedding ring to cast it into a bullet.

An optimist is a guy who thinks his wife doesn't understand him.

I cannot hide this from u any more. I don't want 2 hurt u and I feel it's best if I tell u, before you hear it from someone else ............ Potato Prices Have Gone Up!

What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull?

Based on statistics, the most used s*xual position among married couples is doggy style
- the husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."

Why do men like blonde jokes??
Because they can understand them.

My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her.
Or something like that ...

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this?
B: It's because your feet aren't empty.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think you’re on drugs!

Send a texting joke to someone and bring a smile into their day!

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