Texting jokes

Free funny text messages

Funniest text messages

 

Bring a smile into someone’s day with my selection of texting jokes. Pick a funny text sms message from my free text message jokes-list.

I’m in the process of compiling a long list of fun text messages.

The list below is only the start of this list and I would appreciate it very much (if you have a few texting jokes up your sleeve) if you would share your funniest text messages with me. I will add them to the list below and credit you by putting your name with it.

How? Easy … Just go to this page and fill in the very short form, add your texting jokes and watch this space!


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List of Texting jokes:

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Why do they call it PMS?
Mad cow disease was already taken!

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Why can’t men get Mad Cow’s Disease?
Because they are pigs.

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Why did the jelly baby go 2 school?
Bcoz it wanted 2 be a smarty.

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For sale: complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. Good condition. $1000. No longer needed, got married, my wife knows everything!

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What do u call a vicar on a mo2r bike?
Rev.

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I had a ploughman’s lunch today. He wasn’t v happy.

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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

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What do U call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

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What do U get if U cross a skunk with a boomerang?
A bad smell U can’t get rid of.

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Hw do u keep a txtr in suspense?
I’ll tel U l8r.

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Text the romance back

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There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And of course: a donkey to pay her bills!!

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I wanted to send you something that would make you smile… But the postman told me to get out of the mailbox.

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What’s the difference between Bigfoot and sensitive men? Big foot has been spotted a few times.

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One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

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“Inside this fat body lies lives a skinny lady. But I can usually shut her up with chocolate.”

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You think I’m nice, I think you’re nice. You think I’m kind, I think you’re kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I’m cute, and I think you’re right.

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Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don’t know. Never happens.

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Get your ex back

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What does irreconcilable differences mean?
When she’s melting down her wedding ring to cast it into a bullet.

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An optimist is a guy who thinks his wife doesn’t understand him.

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I cannot hide this from u any more. I don’t want 2 hurt u and I feel it’s best if I tell u, before you hear it from someone else ………… Potato Prices Have Gone Up!

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What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull?
Lipstick

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Based on statistics, the most used s*xual position among married couples is doggy style
- the husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

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“I didn’t lose my mind, I sold it on ebay.”

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Why do men like blonde jokes??
Because they can understand them.

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My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her.
Or something like that …

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn’t rush to my feet. Why is this?
B: It’s because your feet aren’t empty.

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Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

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Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they’ll all think you’re on drugs!

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Send a texting joke to someone and bring a smile into their day!

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