Stupid pick up lines

Funny pickup lines

Stupid pick up lines that are so bad that you won’t know whether to slap him or laugh at him. The only way you can get away with using them is to make it into a joke and then laugh at yourself!

This is a collection of the worst pick up lines, cheesy pickup lines, funny pickup lines, corny pickup lines and bad pick up lines.

Use them at your own risk!

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Stupid pick up lines

Good day for weather.

I’m so glad you agreed to go out with me. I just started using Viagra, and I’ve been wanting to see how well it works.

Your friend looks incredible! Can I have her number just in case things don’t work out with you tonight?

I can tell by the way you’re ignoring me that you want me…

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?

Will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into that cheap motel room.

If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

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Really cheesy pickup lines

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

Stand still so I can pick you up!

Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?


Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.

I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin’…

You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?

I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.

Since we shouldn’t waste this day and time, shall we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire?

Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don’t get a date by tomorrow, she’s putting me up for adoption.

I’m Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?

I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?

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Funny pick up lines

Baby, you’re so sweet, you’ll put Hershey’s outta business.

Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.

Does Levi’s pay you for wearing those and looking that good?

Don’t walk into that building — the sprinklers might go off!

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven’t seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you’ve really changed! (I’m not Laura) What? Oh wow, you even changed your name!

Hi. My name is {name}. I’m running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here…write down your number and I’ll call you to discuss my policy.

I’m feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?

I’ve been noticing you’re not noticing me.

So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?

When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor…so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.

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Ways to reject pick up lines

“Haven’t we met before?”
“Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.”

Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?”
“Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

“Want to Dance?”
“No, thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, thank heaven somebody asked you.”

“So what do you do for a living?”
“Female impersonator.”

“How do you like your eggs in the morning?”

A mature, graying man in his 60’s approach a young lady:
”Where have you been all my life?”
“For the first half of it, I probably wasn’t born yet.”

“Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason!”
Her response: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”

“Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.”

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Go to my: List of jokes for more clean funny jokes!