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Questions to ask your boyfriend
Weave the questions to ask your boyfriend into your everyday conversations with him and take note how he answer or avoid your questions.
Need questions to ask your boyfriend? Do you want to know more about your boyfriend and his life, but are not sure how to do it without becoming a full time stalker? Not sure about the right questions to ask your boyfriend that will help you dig deeper?
I’ve compiled a list of questions to ask your boyfriend to help you with this. Weave the questions into your everyday conversations and take note how he answers your questions. The way he talks about or avoid certain subjects will tell you a lot about the way he thinks and feels.
Homelife Do you prefer urban, suburban, or rural settings? Is it important to have your own house, or do you prefer apartment or condo living where someone else is responsible for maintenance? Do you fix things yourself, or would you rather hire professionals? Do you clean your own home or hire someone to do it for you? Do you prefer a very neat home? or do you like a little chaos? Do you think of your home as your own little cocoon, or is your door always open? What do you need to feel energized and inspired in your home? Is peace and quiet important in your home, or do you prefer having music or some background noise most of the time? Do you have a TV in the bedroom? Do you like to sleep with the TV or radio on? How important is it for you to have a space in your home that is yours alone? How do you deal with differences about home decoration in a partnership? If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? If you had unlimited resources, how would you live?
Parenting Do you want children? When? How many? Would you consider adoption if you were unable to have children naturally? What is your view of fertility treatments? Who is responsible for birth control in a relationship? What would you do if there were an unplanned pregnancy? How to do feel about abortion? Should a partner have a say in an abortion decision? Have you ever had an abortion? How did it impact on your life? Have you ever put a child up for adoption? What happened? Would you ever consider sterilization? Is it only your decision or does your partner have a say? Do you want your children to be raised near your extended family? How would you react if family interfered in the raising of your children? Do you believe a mother should breast-feed her baby? How long should a mother and father stay at home after a child’s birth? Should the mother give up her work to stay at home with the children? What is the role of a mother in a child’s life? What is the role of a father in a child’s life? How do you discipline children? (spanking, time-out, taking away privileges?) Who is responsible for discipline? Father? Mother? Both? How will you teach your children responsibility, honesty, integrity, balance, respect, etc.? Will you raise your children with religious or spiritual convictions? Should girls be treated differently from boys? How and why? If you realize that your teenage daughter is sexually active, how will you react? How would you deal with if you didn’t like your child’s friends? When in a blended family who should make decisions concerning the children? Who is responsible for the children’s discipline? How should you deal with money matters concerning the children? How should ex-partners be dealt with? What will their role be in the children’s upbringing? Have disagreements about children issues ever caused the breakup of a relationship?
Food Do you prefer to eat your meals sitting at the table? Is it important to you that everybody should be present for dinner? What are your favorite foods? What foods can’t you stand at all? Do you love to cook? Do you enjoy having people around when preparing food? Is it part of bonding for you? Is eating healthy food important to you? Do you follow a special diet? Do you expect others to adhere to your diet in support of you? Are food ever used as a bride or as proof of love in your family? Has food ever been a source of shame, tension or stress for you? Ever had an eating-disorder?
Gender roles What should the woman’s responsibilities be in the household? Why? What should the man’s responsibilities be in the household? Why? When should a woman defer to her partner? Do you feel the need to control or to be taken care of? Do you feel that a relationship should be equal? How does your family view the roles of men and women? Have disagreements about gender roles ever caused stress in a relationship?
Pets Are you an animal person? What role do animals play in your life? Do you see your pets as members of your family? What kind of animals do you have? How much money do you spend on your pets? How much time do you spend with your animals? Do you have a attitude of: me and my Butch are a package deal - take it or leave it! How do you deal with aggressive animals? Have you ever deliberately hurt an animal? Should someone give up a pet if it interferes with the relationship? Have you ever been jealous or uncomfortable with a partner’s relationship with a pet? Have disagreements about pets ever caused the breakup of a relationship?
Extended family Are you close to your family? Do you need to see and talk to them on a constant basis? Is it difficult for you to set limits with family? How much influence does your family have over your decision making? How important is it that you and your partner are on good terms with each other’s families? How did your parents settle conflicts when you were a child? Do people in your family carry long-term grudges? Did you identify the childhood wound that contributed to problems in your relationships? How were you emotionally wounded by your family? Who caused you the most hurt? Are you or have you ever been estranged from your family? Why?
Friends Do you have a best friend? Do you have friendships that lasted a really long time? Do you see your friends on a very regular basis? Do you speak on the phone every day? Are your friendships as important to you as your life partner is? How important is your friends opinions to you? If your friends need you, are you there for them through thick and thin? Is it important to you for your partner to accept and like your friends? Is it important that you and your partner have friends in common? Do you tend to pull away from your friends when you are in a relationship to focus on your partner? Do you have a difficult time setting limits with friends? Has a partner ever been responsible for breaking up a friendship? Have friends ever been the cause of the breakup of a relationship?
Religion Do you believe in God? What does that mean to you? Are you a religious or spiritual person? What does it involve? Do you belong to a church or another religious affiliation? Do you attend religious meetings on a regular basis? Did your family belong to a church, synagogue, temple, or mosque when you were young? Do you practice a different religion from the one in which you were raised? What happens to us after death? Does your religion enforce any behavioral restrictions on you or your partner? (dietary, social, familial, sexual) Is it important to you for your partner to share your religious beliefs? Is it important for your children to be raised in your religion? Has religion or spiritual practice ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
Work What does your job entail? (duties, responsibilities, hours, travel, danger?) How long have you been working in your current job? How do you get on with your co-workers? How do you get on with your boss? How important is your job to you? Where do you see yourself in 5 years time? 10 years? Do you consider your work a career or just a job? Are you ambitious? Have you ever been called a workaholic? Have you ever nicked something from your work? When you see something wrong happen at work do you keep quiet or do you speak out? Have you ever been fired? Why? Have you ever quit a job suddenly? What happened? Has your work ever interfered with your relationships? Has your work ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? What is your dream job? What did you want to be when you were a child? What is the most enjoyable part of your job? What is the most difficult part of your job? How does family life fit in with your work? If you lost your job today, what will you do? What is your retirement plan? What do you plan to do when you stop working?
Finances How important is money in you life? How do you spend your money? What is your monthly living expenses? What is your annual income? Do you pay alimony or child support? How much? Do you believe in prenuptial agreements? Why? What will the terms be? Do you have a personal budget? Do you believe in establishing a family budget? How will that work? Should marriage partners have separate bank accounts? Or joint accounts? Or both? Do you feel that bills should be divided between the two of you? Who will pay what? Who should be in control of the family finances? Do you have debts? How much? Do you gamble? Did you have a paying job when you were in high school? How old were you when you got your first job? Did you get an allowance from your parents as a child? What did you do with your allowance? How much value do you put on possessions? Or do you see it as replaceable? Easy come, easy go? How important are money symbols to you? (big house, fancy car, clothes, holidays?) Have you ever been perceived as stingy? Do you believe that some money should be set aside for pleasure, even if you are on a modest income? Have you ever used money as a way of controlling a relationship? Has anyone ever tried to control you with money? Has money ever been a factor in difficulties or breakup of a relationship? Do you have a savings plan? Do you put money away for your retirement? a rainy day? something expensive you really want? Do you have health insurance? Life insurance? If you lost your job or became injured do you have enough money put away to cover living expenses for a while until you are on your feet again?
Community Are you involved in your community? Do you take part in community projects? Are community issues important to you? Do you have a good relationship with your neighbors? Have you ever had problems with a neighbor? Do you see yourself as a considerate neighbor by keeping the noise down of music or your barking dogs?
Charity How do you feel about charity in general? How do you feel about doing charity work or giving money to a charity? Do you contribute to a charity? Which one’s? How much?
Politics Do you have strong political views? Do you consider yourself liberal, moderate, or conservative? Do you belong to a political party? Are you actively involved? What was the attitude in your family about politics and social issues? Did you vote in the last presidential election? Congressional election? Local election? How would you deal with it if your partner had opposing views? Do you believe that the system discriminate against people of color, poor people, and the disenfranchised? Which political issues do you care about? Has politics ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
Military Have you served in the military? Have anyone in your family served in the military? Would you want your children to serve in the military? Do you feel that that military action will bring about positive change in the world? Do you personally identify more with a nonviolent approach such as negotiation?
Rules Are you someone who believes in following rules and towing the line? Have you ever committed a crime? If yes, what was it? Have you ever been arrested? If yes, for what? Have you ever been in jail? If yes, why? Have you ever been involved in a legal action or lawsuit? If yes, what were the circumstances? Have you ever been the victim of a crime? What happened? Are you honest and on time when paying taxes? Have you ever failed to pay child support? If so, why?
Stay informed What are your sources for news and happenings? (TV, radio, newspapers, newsmagazines, internet, friends) Do you take news at face value or do you question where information is coming from and the true agenda behind it? Do you also take note of more diverse perspectives on the news? Do you read magazines to stay informed on specific topics such as hobbies, fashion trends, new developments? Do you see yourself as well-informed and up to date with what is going on in the world?
Culture Are following the lives of actors, musicians, models, or other celebrities important to you? Do you regular movie-goer, or do you prefer to rent movies and watch them at home? What is your favorite type of music? Do you like to attend music concerts? Do you like to go to museums or art shows? Do you like dancing? Do you like to watch TV for entertainment?
Free time What is your idea of a fun day? Do you have a hobby that you really enjoy? Do you enjoy spectator sports? Are certain times and activities off-limits because you’d rather follow football, baseball, basketball, or other sports? Do you take part in activities that exclude your partner? Is it important to you that you and your partner enjoy the same leisure activities? How much time and money do you spend on leisure activities? Do you enjoy activities that might make your partner uncomfortable, such as hanging out in bars drinking, going to strip clubs, or gambling? Do you enjoy entertaining? Do you enjoy going to social events or does the prospect rarely appeal to you? Do you look forward to a weekly outing or do you prefer staying at home? Does your work require attending social functions? Is it a painful chore or a pleasure? Do you expect your partner to go with you to these functions? Who do you socialize with? Work colleagues, people from the same ethnic/racial/religious/ socioeconomic background or a diverse mix of people? Are you usually the life of the party or do you prefer disappearing into the background?
Special days Which holidays do you celebrate? Do you maintain family traditions around Christmas or other days? How important are birthdays to you? Anniversaries? Valentines day? Mothers’ day? Fathers’ day? Do you go out of your way to celebrate days that are important to your partner?
Vacations Do you enjoy traveling or do you prefer to stay at home? Are getaways part of your yearly planning? How much of your time and income do you plan for vacations and travel expenses? Do you have favorite vacation destinations? Do you believe it’s wasteful to spend money on vacations to distant places? Do you think it’s important to have a passport? To speak a foreign language? To be well traveled?
Education Do you value a good education? What is your level of formal education? Are you continually taking courses and taking part in programs that will help you in your profession? Do you read and keep up to date on new developments in your field of interest and/or work? Do you think that college graduates are better or smarter than those who didn’t attend college? Do you look down on people who don’t have a formal education? How do you feel about private school vs public school education for children?
Transportation Do you own or lease a car? Would you ever consider not having a car? Do you see your car as a status symbol and a reflection of you? How much time and money to your spend on maintaining your car? Are you reluctant to let other people drive your car? If you had access to reliable public transportation would you rather not have a car? Are fuel efficiency and environmental protection factors when you choose a car? How much time a day do you spend on commuting? Are you a good driver? Do you get traffic warnings or tickets? How do you deal with traffic frustrations? Do you ever go over the speed limits?
Staying in contact Do you own a cell phone? How much time do you spend on the phone? Writing e-mails? Internet chat groups? Do you need to be in contact with people close to you on a hourly or daily basis? Do you have an unlisted telephone number? If yes, why? Are there some parts of you communication that you want to keep to yourself? Why? When will you not answer your phone?
Views on race and ethnicity What did you learn about race and ethnic differences as a child? Do you still hang on to those beliefs? Are you aware of your own biases regarding race and ethnicity? How do you react when confronted by someone who does not share your opinions on race and ethnicity? Do you expect your partner to support your opinions on this? How would you feel if your child dated someone from a different race, ethnicity or gender? The same gender?
