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Overcoming low self esteem
Is overcoming low self esteem possible?
Yes! It won’t happen overnight and will take work and dedication on your part, but overcoming low self esteem is possible and the pay-off is that it can and will change your life. There are ways to build self esteem.
I will supply you with the tools to do this, but you need to do the work. If you don’t do the work and just scan through the information to see if you can pick something up, you are wasting your time - it won’t work!
You need to be serious about overcoming low self esteem and really want to change, You will have to set time aside to do the work, You will have to be brave enough to face painful aspects about your way of thinking.
Shall we begin?
Start by focusing on one thing about you that make you feel unsure/unloved/unattractive. It can be anything – big or small. As long as it is something that is important to you and how you feel about yourself. (Example: your hair, voice, weight, build, shape of your face, mouth, nose, eyes, the list is endless)
State your negative feeling in one sentence: I feel that ……
Think back to where this started – the first time you felt bad about this. Pinpoint it. Was it something someone said or something that was done to you? Was it a specific person who made you feel this way or was it an event or a sequence of events? Where did it happen? When? Who was involved? How did you feel at that moment?
Spend some time exploring this negative feeling. How did you feel about yourself before it happened? How did you feel afterwards? How do you feel now? How did it change your life? How did it change the way you react to things?
The purpose of these questions is to pinpoint where this negative feeling started and to be very clear about the effect this has on you.
Do not move forward before you are clear about this.
Now ask yourself the following questions:
Is what you are feeling based on reality?
Although it might have felt true then, is it true now? Is it possible that the person who made you feel this way wasn’t thinking straight and you accepted their (biased) opinion as fact? Is it true just because somebody said it? If you get someone more wise, objective and without hang-ups to look at this, would they think you are right in your thinking? If you look at the facts (not the feelings) carefully, is it possible that you are holding on to a false perception?
Is it good for you?
Does your thinking add to your life? Is what you are feeling and thinking helping you to grow and better your life? Is it serving your best interests? Are you hanging on to something negative because change seems too difficult, or you just don’t know how to let go and move forward? Does your way of thinking make you feel happy, fulfilled as well as peaceful? Is it good for your health? Are your victim mentality keeping your from living the best life you deserve? Does the way you are thinking and feeling making you live in a constant state of pain and hurt? Are you in tune with your body? Do you constantly feel stressed and worked up? Are your feelings driving you to mistreating yourself? (overeating, bad habits, drinking?)
What do you want for your life? What are you goals? Are your thinking and feeling moving you closer to that or pulling you away from it? Or is it keeping you in the place you don’t want to be?
You should now be able to pinpoint where your negative perceptions started and how it affected you. After working through the above 2 questions you should also be able to appreciate that what you were thinking and feeling were based on false perceptions and that it is not adding anything positive to your life.
Now what? – you ask. How do I deal with this information?
Although what happened is long past and can’t be undone, you need to know that you can change how you feel and think about it. You can heal from the damage. Overcoming low self esteem is possible!
