Is he using me?

by Too Trusting

How do I know if someone is using me? I tend to only discover this at the end of the relationship. Is there a way I can do a test (without him knowing it)to figure out if someone is using me?


My answer:

He won't be embarrassed to be seen with you. He will introduce you to his family and friends and make you a part of his everyday life.

Someone who is using you will want you to fulfill his purpose for you. As long as you fit in with his plans everything will be all right. If you divert from his purpose he will lose interest in you.

If he came across someone who will be better at meeting his wants and needs he will drop you.
Someone who really care about you will support your plans and dreams even if it doesn't fit in with his own plans.

Ask yourself if he is really interested in who you are, does he really listen to you and try to understand, does he support you on an emotional level? Does he change the subject or lose interest when you talk about something he is not interested in or something that doesn't fit his plans?

Is he honest about his life? How does he treat people? Does he lie? (even if it is small little lies just to make life easier for himself)
Does he respect your opinions? Does he accept "no" without pestering you about it?

You need to take time to get to know somebody thoroughly - this is the only true test - the test of time. Don't give your heart away before you know who you are giving it to.

Read Is he Mr. Right? for more details.