- Cute birthday sayings -

Funny birthday sayings

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.
Jim Eason

They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
Author Unknown

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
Anonymous

We are all born naked and screaming and if you're lucky that sort of thing won't stop there.
Unknown

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
John Glenn

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
Mary Schmich

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
Father Larry Lorenzoni

Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?
Bobby Kelton

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Chili Davis

Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I've been doing since 15.

Great Everything!
Great days, Great food, Great movies,
Great naps, Great conversations,
Great moods, Great luck, Great times.
And pretty much Great everything.
Happy Birthday!

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
Jerry M. Wright

Don’t worry about your future, I am sure you will have a bright one, don’t worry about the past, you can't change it, don’t worry about the present, I have not got one for you!

"We grow neither better or worse as we get old, but more like ourselves"
May L. Becker

One of the advantages of being young is that you don’t let common sense get in the way of doing things everyone else knows are impossible.
Unknown

“When you come to a fork in the road….take it”
Yogi Berra

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
Caryn Leschen

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell anything.
Oscar Wilde in "A Woman of No Importance"

"When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents."
Blair Sabol

Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.
Dan Bennett

On your birthday, here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking.
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me.

After 30, a body has a mind of its own.
Bette Midler

"30 is the new 20, unless your 20, then it's the new 40."
Dane Peddigrew

Here’s the secret to look younger: Dress like a teenager with baggy, oversized clothes they will hide your baggy, oversized body.

The best years of a woman's life - the ten years between 39 and 40.
Author Unknown

Happy 30th! You're only 5 years away from your first prostrate exam.

Don't think of it as your 30th Birthday; It's really the 10th anniversary of your 20th Birthday.

I love everything that's old: old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.
Oliver Goldsmith

“At 40 you have a lot to be thankful for. Isn’t it nice that wrinkles, greying hair, thinning hair and developing belly doesn’t hurt”

When I passed forty I dropped pretense, ‘cause men like women who got some sense.
Maya Angelou

You're not getting older, you're getting better.
Unknown

Life begins at forty.
W. B. Pitkin

Probably the happiest period in life most frequently is in middle age, when the eager passions of youth are cooled, and the infirmities of age not yet begun; as we see that the shadows, which are at morning and evening so large, almost entirely disappear at midday.
Thomas Arnold

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty.
James Thurber

The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men.
Colleen McCullough

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.
Dave Barry

You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.
Author Unknown

“You know you’ve reached 40 when a doctor, not a policeman, tells you to slow down, all you exercise are your prerogatives and it takes you longer to rest than to get tired. At your age now you should become a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative Mathematics, and you’ll honestly not know how old you are.”

Life begins at 40 — but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
William Feather

I'm not 50, I'm 49.95, plus tax!

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.
T.S. Eliot

"Old age is when it takes you longer to get over a good time than to have it."

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Ingrid Bergman

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.
Golda Meir

Be kind to your kids, they'll be choosing your nursing home.
Unknown

I was born in 1962. True. And the room next to me was 1963.
Joan Rivers

Looking fifty is great--if you're sixty.
Joan Rivers

“I think when the full horror of being fifty its you, you should stay home and have a good cry.”
Alan Bleasdale

I have everything now I had twenty years ago — except now it’s all lower.

At age 50, everyone has the face he deserves.
George Orwell

From birth to age eighteen, a girl needs good parents. From eighteen to thirty-five, she needs good looks. From thirty-five to fifty-five, she needs a good personality. From fifty-five on she needs good cash.Sophie Tucker

You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M. D. after them.
Arnold Palmer

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you will learn to tap this source, you will have truly defeated age.
Sophia Loren

A man of sixty has spent twenty years in bed and over three years in eating.
Arnold Bennett

Middle age is when your classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
Bennett Cerf

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.Oscar Wilde

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
Doug Larson

Old age is not for sissies.
Malcolm Forbes

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
Maurice Chevalier

They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.
Malcolm Cowley

The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.
Richard John Needham

I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
George Carlin

It's so sad to grow old alone. My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows.

Use funny birthday sayings to bring a smile to your loved one's lips.

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