Free text jokes

- Free funny text messages -

 

Looking for free text jokes?text-jokes-smiles

Here is a list of free funny text messages (text messaging jokes) you can send to make someone laugh.

The ability to make someone laugh can make you very attractive for a potential partner. Laughter tends to equal happiness and if you are the one delivering the laughs so much the better!

Sending free text jokes is a quick, easy way to remind someone that you have a great sense of humor and that you are thinking about them.

I’ve compiled a list of free funny text messages to help you with this.

Enjoy!


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Divider lineIf you are alone, I’ll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I’ll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I’ll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I’ll be your smile. If you need money, wait for your salary.

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A husband coming home from a confession and lifts his wife and carries her on his shoulder.
Wife: Did the priest tell you to be so romantic like this?
Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross.

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Money will buy a bed but not sleep, food but not appetite, amusement but not happiness. You see, money is not everything. Therefore, if you have too much, please send it to me ASAP!

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Dear fellow texters, Due to technical problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why I now wish you a Merry Christmas.

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text-the-romance-back3

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There are now three ways of describing a glass with water half of its volume. It is either half-full, half-empty or half-safe to drink.

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Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

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I’ve used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.

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Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

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I like Kids. But I don’t think I could eat a whole one.

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What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS?
A bitch who knows everything.

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Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don’t know. Never happens.

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Get your ex back

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It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.

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Y MEN R LIKE COMPUTERS
1)dey r useless until u turn dem on
2)dey have lots of data but r still clueless
3)as soon as u pick 1 a better model cums
on the market!

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Y WOMEN R LIKE COMPUTERS
1)no one really understands dem
2)all ur mistakes r stored in their memory
3)u find urself spendin all ur money on accessories for dem!

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Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man’s penis?
A: His body!

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Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One – he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him!

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Q: Why do men name their penises?
A: Because they don’t like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions!

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

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I’m sorry, I don’t date other species.

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Why are most dumb blond jokes one-liners?
So men will understand them.

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If a blond and a brunette jump off a building with the same velocity, each traveling at a parallel speed relative to one another, who lands first?
The brunette. The blond has to stop and ask for directions.

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Sorry, I am having an out of money experience.

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I hope you’ve enjoyed my Free text jokes and will put them to good use!

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