Free text jokes

- Free funny text messages -

Looking for free text jokes?

Here is a list of free funny text messages (text messaging jokes) you can send to make someone laugh.

The ability to make someone laugh can make you very attractive for a potential partner. Laughter tends to equal happiness and if you are the one delivering the laughs so much the better!

Sending free text jokes is a quick, easy way to remind someone that you have a great sense of humor and that you are thinking about them.

I’ve compiled a list of free funny text messages to help you with this.


- Free text jokes -

If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money, wait for your salary.

A husband coming home from a confession and lifts his wife and carries her on his shoulder.
Wife: Did the priest tell you to be so romantic like this?
Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross.

Money will buy a bed but not sleep, food but not appetite, amusement but not happiness. You see, money is not everything. Therefore, if you have too much, please send it to me ASAP!

Dear fellow texters, Due to technical problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why I now wish you a Merry Christmas.

Text the romance back

There are now three ways of describing a glass with water half of its volume. It is either half-full, half-empty or half-safe to drink.

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.

What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS?
A bitch who knows everything.

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don't know. Never happens.

Get Your Ex Back

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

1)dey r useless until u turn dem on
2)dey have lots of data but r still clueless
3)as soon as u pick 1 a better model cums
on the market!

1)no one really understands dem
2)all ur mistakes r stored in their memory
3)u find urself spendin all ur money on accessories for dem!

Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis?
A: His body!

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him!

Q: Why do men name their penises?
A: Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions!

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

I'm sorry, I don't date other species.

Why are most dumb blond jokes one-liners?
So men will understand them.

If a blond and a brunette jump off a building with the same velocity, each traveling at a parallel speed relative to one another, who lands first?
The brunette. The blond has to stop and ask for directions.

Sorry, I am having an out of money experience.

I hope you've enjoyed my Free text jokes and will put them to good use!

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Text the romance back