Emotional affair?

by Anon

Please don't judge me, but I've been having a emotional affair with a man at work. We never touch expect for a occasional hug, but we talk about everything. By everything I mean about our marriages, how we feel, what we would do if we could be together and so on. We dream a lot.

There is nothing wrong with my relationship with my husband of 11 years. We are in a good routine with each other and I consider you marriage as happy.

I've tried to stop this thing but just can't stop thinking about it and can't even go a day without emailing or talking to him on the phone. I don't know how to cut this off or even if I really want to. He talks about leaving his wife but I know he is not serious about it.

What should I do?






My Answer:

This can turn out very badly for both of you if you don't get your head together immediately. Start by figuring out what the need/want is that this man/situation is fulfilling for you. Sometimes it isn't even fulfilling a need but have the potential in your mind to fulfill a need. Make a list, write every need you can think of down.

Try to sum it up in one single sentence. Can you or your husband fulfill this need?

Now start working on a plan on how to fulfill this need by yourself and by your husband. What do you need to change in your thinking/how you do things/see things to get to a point where it is enough? Break your plan down in easy to do steps. Make a time-table for every step.

Ask your husband to help your with every step. Tell him that you want to make things between you even better that they are and would love his help on it. Give yourself and him little rewards as you go along and achieve your steps. Make this your mission/obsession and work on it as if you life depends on it.

Instead of e-mailing this man, work on your plan, get excited about it and leave him in the dust of your healthier marriage and new-found happiness. Self-discipline and tunnel-vision focus on your marriage must be your priority now.

How to you stop an unhealthy addition? Stop cold-turkey and replace it with something healthy. Stop playing and go save your marriage!