Boyfriend problems

by Confused

I had a big fight with my boyfriend. He yelled at me for being insecure and I told him it's because he watches a lot of porn. I know its "normal" for guys but when we have sex it is very painful for me and the pain lasts for 2 days. I found out that he watches porn right after I leave his house. So I pretty much stopped doing sexual things with him because I find it pointless. Why should I go through pain if he doesn't appreciate me? I told him that I consider porn cheating and if he continues to watch it then I'm done with him. Did I go about this the wrong way?

Don't tell me to go to a doctor, what I have is unexplainable.


My answer:

You have a lot of courage to have stuck up for yourself - good for you! You did the right thing. If your boyfriend doesn't respect you or be considerate of the pain you are going through he is not the one for you.

If you still feel you want to try to continue with him, talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. Suggest ways to compromise. If sex is painful for you find other ways to be intimate with him so that sex and everything that goes with it becomes pleasurable for you.

Suggest ways you two can experiment together to discover what is best for both of you. Set it as a "dare" for him to see how enjoyable sex can be without penetration. Sex is not the same for everyone, but if there is love then you can both make it work for each other.

He must realize that he can't replace you with porn and that he need to be more considerate of your feelings and wants.

I have some suggestions how to make sex less painful for you - contact me me if you want to know more.