Bipolar medication

by Nicole

My bf was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and he goes through phases where he doesn't want to take his medication. When he takes his meds he is the man I love... but when he doesn't I don't even know who he is.

We've been together for 6 years and the first 2 and a half were fantastic. Everything is now getting out of hand he has been physically hurting me more and more lately...and its getting out of control.

Is there a way I can get him to take his medication on a normal basis? He sees a therapist (and it helps) but he is not ok without his meds.

What can I do? How can I talk to him about this? It is a very sensitive topic and I don't want him to feel bad because he can't help it. I won't give up on him.


My answer:

Hi Nicole

My heart goes out to you - it takes a lot of courage to support someone struggling with bipolar. You need to help him realize how this is affecting you and your relationship with him. He is the one who has to make the right decision and then follow it up with the right action.

Pick a time when you are both relaxed and sharing a caring, open easy-talking moment. Assure him of your love and commitment to him. Very honestly (but with love and understanding) tell him how the time that he is not taking his meds is affecting you and your relationship. Share your pain with him. Do it in a calm, clear way - state the facts. (leave the emotional version for another day) Then tell him (this is the difficult part) that you need to be away from him when he doesn't take his meds.

Make sure that he knows that you know that he is not himself in those times, but that is the reason that you will then go away - because he is not himself. Find a place where you can go during the bad times (family, friends) and then go. I know that it will be difficult, but you must do this.

Offer to go with him to his therapist so that you can work on a way to help him to take his meds. Figure out why he stops taking his meds and find a solution for that.

You need to realize that he can't control who he is in the bad times, but that he can avoid the bad times by taking his medication. You can support him by reminding him to take his meds but the responsibility is his - you can't be his victim.

Bipolar can be controlled very successfully - he needs to work with this therapist (and you) to find that happy middle ground.

Don't give up, but stand firm and don't waver in your need for safety.